That Butler, Holding On
by shadowtiger96
Summary: What happens after the Campania sank? My interpretation of what happened after the Ship Voyage arc in the manga. My first story published let me know how it is. Story is better than the summery :) rated t just to be safe
1. Chapter 1:That Butler, At Deaths Door

"Y-oung m-master " the words were hoarse and broken. He was freezing and dying. Dying. He could feel it. No. No he can't die. He has a contract to fulfill.

It had been hours since the Campania sunk. The Earl Ciel Phantomhive and his butler, Sebastian Michaelis, are still drifting in the middle of the freezing Atlantic waters. Sebastian is clinging to life by the mere threads of the contract. Undertaker will pay for what he did. Ciel keeps drifting in and out of consciousness . His breaths ragged from the cold and asthma. His ankle feels like someone is hitting it with a hammer. He looks up to see his butler sitting on the other side of the life raft with his knees drawn to his chest one arm around his torso and the other covering his mouth.

"Sebastian. ..."

"Don't mind me, My Lord. Please, just try to stay awa..." He didn't even have time to finish his sentence before he leaned over the side of the raft and coughed up blood. Afterwards, he groaned in pain, barely able to sit back up.

Ciel must have drifted off because he awoke to something nudging his knee. It was Sebastian's weak attempt at kicking him.

"My Lord... stay awake" Sebastian managed forcing himself not to pass out.

"That goes for you too... Oh and by the way... don't you dare ever kick me again."

"Ye-yes s-sir." Sebastian replied holding on to what consciousness he could . Ciel could see the demon's struggle for life.

"Sebastian... don't go to sleep... you still have a contract to fulfill ." Ciel said trying not to sound concerned.

"I-i de-deeply. A-ap-apologize... My bo-body is b-becoming too weak..." the butler rasped out.

Ciel moved over to the demon's side, who was too weak to move, and gently swept hair out of his butlers face.

"Sebastian. .. stop trying to force yourself to live. You're making it worse. If you can not go on any longer, don't. " He hated seeing the pain on the man's face.

"But You-" Sebastian was cut off.

"NO! No buts... it's an order."

"Y-yes My Lord. .." he said quietly. "Oh have failed as the Phantomhive butler... and for that I can not apologize enough. "

"Enough, Sebastian." Ciel said. He then turned back to his butler and saw his eyes drooping. A whistle of a ship was heard, and Ciel turned to the sound. _A rescue ship!_ He thought.

He stood up in the boat waving his arms the best he could to wave down the ship.

"Sebastian don't go to sleep yet! Please!" He turned to see Sebastian already asleep. Not sure if the man was breathing. He kneeled back down next to his butler.

"SEBASTIAN! SEBASTIAN WAKE UP! PLEASE! I know what I ordered but please the rescue ship is here! Please wake up!" Ciel shouted as the small rescue boat from the ship arrived to their life raft.


	2. Chapter 2: That Butler, Waking Up

He woke up some time later in what seemed to be a medical center on the rescue ship. He heard a bit of movement over in the corner of the room. As he looked over, he saw Snake curled up on the floor with a blanket.

"Snake? You made it. " Ciel said softly . The snake/human half-breed only tilted his head in response.

"Are you hurt?" Ciel asked. The silver haired boy shook his head. With a sigh, realizing Snake wasn't going to talk , the young Earl rolled over and faced the opposite wall. _I wonder if Sebastian made it. He's not in the same room as me. What about Elizabeth and the others? ..._ His thoughts were cut short by a strong wave cause the ship the rock more than it was. Snake curled more into the corner slightly panting. Ciel rolled back over to face the older male when he heard him groan. _Seasick?_ The young Earl thought.

"Snake? Where are the others? Did Lizzy and Edward make it?" He asked hoping for the best. Snake nodded . "Well where are they? "

"A few doors down ... says Dan." Replies the serpent man. Ciel sits up on the bed and carefully slides off not to put pressure on his injured foot.

"Show me where they are." He says in a not too demanding, but more over in a hopeful tone. Snake nods and stands on shaking legs. The first thing Ciel noticed is that the older male was still in his uniform. _That will have to change. He's going to freeze._ He thought as he followed Snake out into the hall. They walked a few doors down to find Frances sitting in a chair holding a sleeping Elizabeth.

"AUNT FRANCES " he exclaimed just above a whisper.

"Ciel you're alive! " she whispered back. (A/N the Medford's are going to be a bit OOC because I don't know them as well).

"How's Lizzy?"

"Exhausted. .. but alright. I can't say the same about your butler. He's been unconscious since the brought him in."

"Sebastian's alive!?" The Earl said with surprise. All Frances could do was nod towards the hospital bed on the other side of the room where Sebastian lay covered with many layers of blankets . He quickly rushed over to his butlers side and ran fingers though his hair. He frowned a bit when Sebastian flinched away at the touch.

"He had surgery... Ciel he's lucky to be alive. They had to repair and reinflate his left lung, repair an artery going into his heart and completely remove his spleen that had been ruptured. He also has several broken ribs plus where the had to open up his chest. On top of that what ever happened, it barely missed his spine... it's a miracle that he's alive." Ciel stood listening in horror as his aunt spoke. He did the only thing his body would do, and that was to collapse to the ground, realization of how bad the demon was injured hitting him like a ton of bricks. _Why didn't you just give up when you had the chance? You're suffering and you know it... idiot! You disobeyed and order!... Why couldn't I help him. Why did Undertaker try and kill him but not me. Undertaker will pay!_ His thoughts were brought to an end when he heard someone retching on the other side of the room. He looked up to see Frances had gone and carried Elizabeth with her. It was Snake.

"Snake are you alright?" _Of course he's not!_ Snake merely nodded. "Seasick?" Again another nod as he set the bucket he was using away from him. He curled back up into the corner and wrapped himself in the blanket yet again.

With a sigh, Ciel stood up and carefully climbed on the bed with Sebastian, gently resting his head on the pillow next to the butler's head.

It must have been a couple hours later when he woke to the sound of his aunt's and an unfamiliar voice.

"...ppropriate?" It was an man... probably one of the sailors.

"Look right now, I don't care about that. His butler is all he has left. If that man dies the rest of his world is shattered " With that the man nodded and left. His aunt walked over to him with a smile. He then also relized the he was under the covers with his sleeping butler.

"He woke up for a bit and thought you might be cold." She said.

"How was he?" The question was soft. Not like the young Earl.

"He was hurting quite a bit,but, he managed to go back to sleep. But Ciel, did you know about this?" She holds up the demon's left hand showing the contract symbol and black fingernails. _Blast! They had to take is gloves off! Think, Ciel, think!_

 _"_ Yes. But he always kept his practices to himself, and it never effected his work." That seemed like a good excuse. It must have been because Frances nodded and laid Sebastian's hand back down. Ciel yawned and laid back down as well. He noticed Snake was still in the corner still shivering.

"Aunt Frances? Can you see if the have anything for Snake to change into?" He said only to where his aunt could hear, in which she nodded. A few moments later she returned with some doctors scrubs and handed them to the serpent man. He took them looking confused for a moment until Ciel spoke.

"Go change. You can't stay in the same wet clothes . You'll make yourself ill. And when you're done either sit in a chair or lay on a bed..." Snake nodded and went to change. When he got back he crawled into a bed that was already disheveled from someone laying in to.

"That's where he was when I got in here" Frances informed as the footman fell asleep. Ciel nodded and started to fall asleep. Frances turned and left. Soon after, Ciel woke to what sounded like a whimper. It was his butler.

"Sebastian? " he called softly.

"My-my lo-Lord."he rasped. "It h-h-hurts..." was all he could manage out before his breaths quickened. Drawing in sharp inhales. Tears started rolling down his cheeks. _I thought demons can't cry. I guess there's a first for everything._ Sebastian let out a wail in pain as Ciel tried to get him to relax. The last thing he heard before passing out again was "don't leave my side again please. You're going to be alright. "

"SEBASTIAN!" Ciel yelled. For the twelfth time.

"I-i C-can hear you just fine... j-just go to sleep. You're exhausted. I won't go anywhere... do not worry." With that Ciel calmed and laid his head on the demon's shoulder. He soon drifted into a restless slumber.


	3. Chapter 3:That Butler, Hell on High Wate

Chapter 3: That Butler, Hell on High Water

 **A/N : okay so I have been typing this on my phone because I don't have a computer and I'm still learning how to use my open office thing on my phone so please be patient. I will try and update daily if work doesn't get to me. But thank you guys for the reviews :D. So now ONWARD! Sebastian disclaimer?**

 **Sebastian : Miss Shadow Kitty doesn't own kuroshitsuji or any of the characters. All rights go to Yana Toboso**

It was much later that night when Ciel woke again. The room was dark, minus the glow from the moon outside. A short must have hit earlier, or must be moving in, because the seas were rough. He noticed his butler still sound asleep, but his breathing more ragged. He looked around the room and saw that Snake was no longer in bed. When he heard the sounds of vomiting coming from the small bathroom on the other side he put two and two together. _He's seasick again..._ the Earl mused silently. He slowly got up and stumbled towards the bathroom to check on his footman. The rough rocking of the ship making him lose balance. ( **A/N: trust me that's not fun when you don't have your sea legs I'm trying to explain that the best I can. I live on a ship so it's easy to know the feeling just a bit difficult to explain** )

Finally making it to the bathroom he carefully pushed the door open not to scare the footman. Snake weakly looked up at him then looked away in shame.

"I- I am s-sorry you have seen my like this... says Dan." Snake says quietly.

"Actually I came to make sure you're okay. Has no one given you medication yet?" The serpent man shake his head. Snake had not spoken much since he had been on the rescue ship.

"Snake where are the rest of your friends ?"

"Down in cargo. ... says Dan." With shaking legs, Snake slowly stands and stumbles forward knocking himself and Ciel down as the ship went into a heavy roll. Ciel helped him up and they walked back into the medical unit. When they got in there, Ciel saw Sebastian in the middle of a fitful nightmare. _I didn't know demons can have nightmares. I wonder what it's about. .._ he mused before the butler screamed.

"SEBASTIAN! " He said grabbing the demon's shoulders..

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 _Cold. It was cold. And dark . Why was it so dark?_ Soon a light started to appear playing back like an old film. _Battling Undertaker as the ship started to list side to side. They could start to feel the forward end start to lower._

 _"Show me your record" was the last thing Undertaker said before playing out the demon's cinematic record._

 _It played out in vivid detail of the night the young Earl, merely the tender age of 10, summoned the demon. Leading through the years with the child._

 _"Sebastian !" Ciel screamed as the record was ending and the demon fell unconscious to the floor._

 _"Sebastian! Hey! Sebastian! " Ciel screamed._

 _"Your record was pretty interesting, but, it seems you made the Earl miserable after all. I'll just have to make you dissappear ." Undertaker said before swinging his sythe, tearing right through the butlers chest. He screamed out in agony before everything went black. Undertaker, satisfied with what he had done, turns back toward the other two shinigami._

 _"SEBASTIAN! " Ciel screams grasping the butlers shoulders. He continues to scream the butlers name and slap his face to wake him up to no avail. "SEBASTIAN! THIS IS AN ORDER! WAKE UP NOW!" The Earl screams . Again, nothing. ... the world is dark he's dead. Undertaker will pay._

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

"SEBASTIAN! THIS IS AN ORDER! WAKE UP NOW!" Ciel yells trying to wake his fitful butler from whatever nightmare has a grasp on him. Sebastian's eyes shoot open as she bolts upright screaming. Once he relizes he's no longer in that hell-hole of a dream he sits there gasping and panting for breath. He's trembling so bad, his master thought he was going to fall off the bed. He carefully reached up the demon's now bruised cheek gently. Sebastian immediately flinched away.

"Sebastian, it's alright it was just a dream..." the Earl says trying to pull Sebastian back to reality. Sebastian quickly pulled Ciel into his arms and muttered something about not being able to brotect him.

"It's okay, Sebastian. .. I'm fine. You protected me. You're alive. Just calm down. " Ciel said pulling away. He got down off the bed to go get a rag to wipe the sweat off Sebastian's face. Suddenly, without any warning, the demon all but vomited large amounts of blood before passing out.

"BLACK!" Snake called as Ciel turned back around and ran back to his butler's side. "H-he is n-not breathing. .. says Dan."

 **A/N: DUN DUN DUUUNNN Cliffhanger! ! I'm having alot of fun writing this. By the way... it is super hard to explain the feeling of a ship rocking and rolling and the feeling of seasickness. .. I have never been seasick but I know people who have. The rocking just make me fall asleep ... and makes me feel drunk when I'm walking. ... bust so yea... anyways R & R PLEASE!**


	4. Chapter 4: That Butler, Worry

Chapter 4: That Butler, Worry

 **Shadow: Snake. You wanna do the disclaimer?**

 **Snake: Shadow does not own kuroshitsuji or any characters... says Wordsworth**

 **Shadow: yay! ONWARD!**

~.~.~.~.

"Smile?..." Snake said shyly wandering around the ship trying to find the master. Soon after Sebastian was produced dead by the medical staff on board, Ciel took off running against the protests of his ankle. That was over 4 hours ago. It was now 6 A.M. Snake wandered aimlessly continuing to call for the Earl. _Not good . Not good . Not good. I can't lose him too. Where is he?_

"Smile!?" He called a bit louder. At this point, Snake had wandered to just about every room and compartment on the ship... including cargo. He grew continually worried for not finding the master. He didn't know where he was anymore. He had gotten lost wandering around the ship. ( **A/N. That's actually not hard to do... I've been on board my ship for almost a year and still get lost** ) He leaned against the wall hoping Ciel hadn't done something stupid. _Why does my family always get taken away? All I wanted was someone to care for me... Joker, Beast, Doll, Dagger, Peter and Wendy, Jumbo... now Smile and Black too... I always lose the ones I care about. I can't keep doing this! I've been hurt too much!_ At this point, Snake was in tears. He couldn't keep in all his emotions anymore. Memories came flooding back. He became more and more panicked at the thought of losing Ciel. He was worried he would never see the Earl again. He knew their real names... but he liked to continue to call them by their circus stage names. _I can't lose him! I can't! ! I have to find him!_

Another hour later, still no sign of Ciel. Snakes worry only grew more and more. He was definitely lost inside the ship. He couldn't find the way out. Tears clouded his vision. Once he relized he was stuck, no where to go, lost inside of this giant vessel. He collapsed to his knees. Only one thing came to his mind

"SMILE!" He screamed out. _I just lost the only family I have. What do I do now?_

It was nearly 10 P.M. when a crew member found Snake passed out from exhaustion and hunger. He hadn't eaten, or been able to keep anything down since the Campania sunk. The crew member carried him back up to the medical unit and laid him on a bed across the room from where a sheet covers Sebastian's lifeless form.

"Black... Smile..." the 2 words the crew member hears before exiting. Around 4 that next morning Snake awakes to a sudden warmth to his left side. He looks over to see Ciel curled up against him. Tears automatically started spilling from his eyes as he rolled over and pulled Ciel close to his chest in heartbreaking sobs.

"Snake, what is the meaning of this!? Compose yourself! " Ciel said more shocked from the sudden wake up and the outburst rather than anger.

"Smile... d-dont..." was all Snake could say.

"Don't what?"

"You're. ... all I have left... I... I th-thought you l-left me too! Don't run away again! SMILE!" Snake wailed. Ciel was stunned as his footman completely broke down infront of him. He wasn't sure what to do. Snake never spoke for himself so this outburst was truly a new experience. Snake grew up in a cage at a freak show so after meeting the Noah's Arc Circus was his first true taste at freedom . Ciel wasn't even sure how old Snake was. He was always so quiet and kept to himself. He never acted out. And was a fantastic servant.

Snake continuedto cry for nearly twenty minutes before his throat felt raw and his eyes couldn't produce tears anymore. He just laird there for a few minutes whimpering and sniffling.

"Snake? I won't go anywhere. I'm sorry I scared you. I promise." Ciel said finally understanding that he really was Snake's FAMILY. Ciel himself had lost his family at a young age, but Snake had never experienced anything like it. After Noah's Arc Circus rescued him, he had only been there a few months. Ciel knew he needed to tell Snake what happened to the rest of them, but he couldn't. Not now. Not seeing how bad this boy was hurting. Snake was still trembling holding back a new onslaught of tears. _How old is he? Had he spent his life cooped up in a cage?_ Ceil thought. He was brought out of his thoughts by the footman's choked sobs.

"Please don't start crying again. Please don't. .. it's alright Snake. I'm not going anywhere. Don't worry..." he continued to say soothing words until Snake calmed.

"Smile... please stay here..." Snake begged quietly, sounding more like a small child.

"I will... it's okay. .. Snake? How old are you?" The older male shrugged. He couldn't remember.

"Do you even remember your birthday?" Again, a shrug. Ciel started piecing things together. _He's probably about seventeen or eighteen. ... being kept in a cage with little human interaction from a young age could lead to mental issues. I remember Aunt Ann saying something like that._

Snake eased is grip on Ciel, confident he wouldn't run away. Ciel finally figured out that Snake never really did grow up mentally. Sure he was mature, but it was mostly his "friends" that made the conversation. Snake himself rarely spoke and when he did it was usually one or two words, but this outburst was all him. _I'll have to work on that when we get back._ Ciel mused. For now he wanted ti sleep . Snake was already deep in sleep by the time Ciel's thoughts were done. But Ciel? He couldn't sleep. He kept thinking about his butlers death. _Atleast you followed the order, but you did die before the master, and you broke the contract, Sebastian._

 **A/N : woo well this was fun to write! Again thanks for the review s! I know it's a bit OOC but still! NVCiel I live on a ship an constantly pull in and out of port... do you know how hard it is to to stay awake at 1:00 A.M. and drive while the ships rocking is putting you to sleep!? Wow haha. Welp I hope you enjoy and is Sebastian really dead?! Read the next chapter!?**


	5. Chapter 5:That Butler, Hope

Chapter 5: That Butler, Hopeful

 **Shadow: hey everyone. ... I'm kinda in a blah mood tonight after work so... I also have another fic on my mind I'm going to start writing. But anyhow... let's go on with this chapter... I'll do the disclaimer. I do not own Kuroshitsuji or its characters**

The next time Ciel awoke , it was to a ruckus on the other side of the room. There were several doctor's and nurses surrounding Sebastian's bed. There was a flurry of sheets and hands. Not sure what they were doing, the Earl just simply watched. After a few moments, it died down. The doctors and nurses slowly move away to where Ciel could see the demon's face. He could see the unsteady rising and falling of his chest .

"Get him into the OR now!" One of the doctors shouted. The others complied and moved Sebastian to a different room. Ciel watched and waited for hours and still no sign of them coming back out. By this time, Snake had gotten up and gotten sick several times. His stomach hurts so bad. He nearly passed out, but Ciel caught him.

"Good lay back down." He said coaxing the ill footman to the bed. Snake silently obeyed. The doors opened back up as the moved the butler back into the room.

"Black?!" Snake said hoping that the man would be okay. One of the nurses came over to the two of them.

"He had a siezure that lasted about six minutes. It turns out he had some bleeding on his brain. We were able to relieve that and it looks like he will be okay." She said , though Ciel and Snake didn't quite understand.

"But, he was produced dead yesterday. ..." Ciel said sadly.

"We don't know how this happened, but keep am eye on him. We pull back into London tomorrow afternoon. " with that, she left.

 **A/N: sorry for the short crappy chapter I have another fic on my mind that I'm not sure how to start... it's about grells trial after the jack the ripper arc. I already know his punishment but not sure how to start this off...**


	6. Chapter 6: That Butler, Scarred

Chapter 6: That Butler, Scarred

 **Shadow: hey guys so you know Sebastian is still alive. I wouldn't kill him...I'm not that mean. But anyhoo. (I purposely spelled that wrong) this chapter is most set in the shinigami realm because ronald and grell were also hit with undertaker s sythe. So how bout william give the disclaimer.**

 **Will: fine... miss shadow does not won kuroshitsuji or its characters. There happy?**

 **shadow: it'll do**

~.~.~.~.reaper realm ~.~.~.~

It was late when Grell finally woke. He woke in a room that didn't look familiar to him. He groaned as a searing pain shot through his chest and stomach.

"I see you're awake, Sutcliff. " came the cold voice of his boss. "You have been out for two days. That was quite a bit of overtime that you and Knox caused me."

"Will..." he managed when groaned as the pain flaired across his abdomen. Grell rolled his eyes at his boss. "That's all you care about is work? Do you not even care about the well being of your other reapers?" He stated with a bitter tone. William was shocked, not that he showed any emotion. Will knew Grell could get a temper, but in this case, the red haired shinigami was right . He was only concerned about work.

"You know it's not mine, or Ronnie's, fault right? We did what we could, but so much happen... Ronnie. ..." Grell stopped. His best friend was hit as well. "Will! Please tell me he's okay!" The red reaper choked.

"He's fine Sutcliff. He was sent home and put on bed rest for the next two days." With that, Grell sighed and fell back into a dreamless sleep.

 **A/N: super short chapter I know. I just haven't had motivation to write lately. Welp it is Christmas so Merry Christmas! ! Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up soon. ..**


	7. Chapter 7: That Butler, Going Home

That Butler, Heading Home

 **A/N: I am really great full to with the reviews :) with work, it has been hard to get the motivation to write... and I'm thinking of writing a Hetalia fic so... any how on with it. I don't own Kuroshitsuji or any of that suff**

Daylight was finally breaking as the ship gently rocked side to side. Snake was finally sleeping soundly curled up against Ciel. The Earl decided to stay with his footman after a storm had hit and caused the waters to be rough. Not only did Ciel not like thunder and lightning, but neither did Snake. He was up most of the night, fear written on his face bringing back bad memories. Not to mention his seasickness.

Sebastian seemed to be sleeping peacefully, as he has not stirred when a crew member came in and checked his stitching. Ciel was hoping desperately that they would allow Sebastian to go home rather than send him to a hospital. _I might have some convincing to do._ He thought. He was the Earl Phantomhive! They have to listen to him! Or so he thought. In the middle of that thought, his aunt came in to check on him, his butler, and his footman.

"Aunt Frances..."

"Oh, Ciel... " she sounded a bit distraught.

"What's wrong? "

"You butler. He isn't doing so well. It's a miracle he is alive..."

"What do you mean he isn't doing well?"

"The crew member that just came in said that he has a fever and is unconscious. We pull into port somewhere around three. He's going to need to be in the hospital."

"No." He stated shortly.

"What?"

"I will have a private doctor monitor him at the mansion. I'd rather him be where I am. And on top of that, if he does give up. I want him to be in his home, not some hospital. ..." With that Frances sighed but nodded and told Ciel to get some sleep. He watched her leave before he took her advice and started to drift off. Just as he was almost asleep they heard a loud crackling over the ships announcement system. ( **A/N: me being in the navy the BMW or Boatswains Mate of the Watch will pipe, it's like a whistle thing.. Google it. Over the ships 1 main circuit or 1MC so I may keep things short and say 1MC** )

" _Good morning everyone! This is your Captain we will be pulling into port about one. We are traveling a bit faster through the waters so passenger of the RMS Campania can be back with their families. I must remind all passengers to wait to exit the ship until we move the injured first."_

After that message, Ciel let out a sigh of relief. That didn't last for long as Snake started fussing in his sleep in what was an obvious nightmare. With a more frustrated sigh, Ciel gently woke the normally quiet footman. Snake snapped awake instantly and took in his surroundings before whimpering and trying to go back to sleep. Ciel did the same . The next time they wake was around noon when the ships 1MC went off with someone saying "station special sea and anchor detail. Station special sea and anchor detail "* he was only hoping they pulled in soon.

 **Yay! This chapter is done! Side note* sea and anchor is another navy term to alert the deck seamen (me and my department. ... undersigned seamen and boatswains mates ) to go to their assigned stations for mooring as well as the group of deck seamen for the anchoring. Google that too... but anyway don't hate me! -Shadowtiger**


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